


Reprieve

by Electra_XT



Series: Close Encounters [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Drunk Sex, M/M, One Night Stands, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electra_XT/pseuds/Electra_XT
Summary: “Recognize me?” the stranger said, appearing next to Diego’s shoulder at the wedding reception.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Diego Hargreeves
Series: Close Encounters [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834303
Comments: 23
Kudos: 160





	Reprieve

**Author's Note:**

> As always, Five is aged up here to be in his mid-twenties.
> 
> Title from "Reasons I Drink" by Alanis Morissette.

“Recognize me?” the stranger said, appearing next to Diego’s shoulder at the wedding reception.

So far, Allison’s wedding had been exactly as terrible as Diego had predicted. A saccharine ceremony, an awkward reunion. A reception filled with way too many amenities to be sincere. 

And now this, apparently.

Diego looked over at him. “Should I?”

The man rolled up the sleeve of his jacket and showed Diego the tattoo on his wrist.

Diego blinked, unsure for a second if this was a fever dream or some feral fan was propositioning him. Then he looked up into the man’s eyes, and his stomach flipped over.

“Damn,” he said. “Been a long time, Five.”

Five inclined his head.

Diego studied him. Somehow, having his brother back didn’t shock him as much as he’d expected it to. Another strange turn of events was par for the course in his life— he just felt numb, like he always did when something unsettling happened. Five was older now, visibly aged from the boy who’d vanished from the dinner table. There was an ageless quality about him, like a man out of time, someone photoshopped into the wedding; like he had no shadow.

“I assure you it’s actually me,” Five said.

“Prove it,” Diego said. He didn’t actually doubt him, but—

“Klaus got that broken jaw from tripping down the stairs in Grace’s heels, not heroically in the line of duty,” Five said.

Diego smiled. He’d forgotten how Reginald had spun that for the tabloids. “No kidding. Where’ve you been, man?”

Five smiled. “The future.”

Diego didn’t register his words for a moment, caught. Five’s dimple was carved into his cheek the exact way it had when he was thirteen.

“It turns out time travel is as hard as Reginald always told us,” Five said. He hesitated. “I would have gone back if I could.”

Diego looked up at him again. “What?”

“I didn’t mean to abandon you,” Five said.

“Oh,” Diego said. “We…”

They’d been split on the issue. Allison and Klaus had thought Five had skipped town to a better life. Luther and Vanya had thought he’d come back. Diego and Ben had thought he was dead.

“It’s good to have you back,” Diego said. “Not gonna lie, I think you dodged a bullet.”

“You think so?” Five said.

“How’s the future?” Diego said.

Five inhaled, and then he sighed. “Busy. I… work with an agency.”

“Oh yeah?” Diego said. “Doing what?”

“Working through cases,” Five said. “But at the moment, I’m on self-scheduled leave.”

Diego eyed him. “Sanctioned?”

“Well,” Five said. He took a sip of his drink. “We don’t need to get into that.”

Diego laughed. “I get it, man. I’m on, ah, permanent leave from the police academy.”

Five smiled. “You got kicked out.”

“Yeah,” Diego said. He looked away. “Not sure I’d want to be a cop anyway.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who dodged a bullet, hm?” Five said. “So what are you doing instead?”

“Going to my sister’s wedding and talking shit with my long-lost brother,” Diego said. “What about you?”

Five laughed. It sounded like he didn’t do that very often. “What a coincidence. I’m here to do the same.”

“I bet Klaus is around if you wanted to talk to him,” Diego said.

There was a pause.

Five raised an eyebrow. “That’s quite a tone.”

“Didn’t mean it that way,” Diego said.

“That’s the same tone,” Five said. “You can’t say you’re doing something while obviously doing the opposite.”

Diego sighed.

“What happened to Klaus?”

Diego looked away.

“If there’s anyone you can tell, it’s me,” Five said.

“Nothing,” Diego said. “Nothing happened to Klaus.”

Five waited.

“I’m serious,” Diego said. “You remember what he was like when we were kids?”

“Of course,” Five said.

“How he was always playing defense,” Diego said. “How every step he took was to avoid pain. Treading water. Refusing to move forward if he was comfortable.”

“I’d extend a little more pity to him if I were you,” Five said.

“I’ve been extending pity to him for ten years,” Diego said. “Nothing has changed about him. He’s still a selfish bastard like he always has been.”

“I see,” Five said.

Diego looked across the room. Somehow, Five’s neutral tone and guiding questions had led him into a conversational sinkhole. He didn’t like to think about this, let alone talk about it.

“I take it you’ve seen more of him these past few years than I have,” Five said.

“How much have you seen of him?” Diego said.

“None.”

“Then yeah,” Diego said. “Maybe a little more than you.”

Five was quiet. The ambient noise of the reception swelled in to take his place, and Diego felt itchy all of a sudden. A waiter came by with a tray of champagne flutes, and Diego snagged one, grateful to have something to do with his hands.

Five seemed to be pretty damn good at waiting out a conversation.

“I see Klaus a lot on the streets,” Diego said.

“Understandably,” Five said.

Diego looked over at him. “Is it?”

“The way you’re talking about him, I doubt he’s sober,” Five said.

“I always think he’s reached rock bottom,” Diego said. “And then he finds a way to dig himself deeper. He rents out a chisel with stolen money. He spelunks into hitherto unforeseen chasms of bullshit.”

Five stifled a laugh. “Apologies. I, ah, know it’s a serious topic.”

“Nah, you can laugh,” Diego said, grinning. “It was a good line.”

“You always end up chasing after him, hm?” Five said.

“Deeper and deeper,” Diego said. “And he doesn’t accept help.”

“Exhausting,” Five said.

 _“Thank_ you,” Diego said.

“And yet probably worthwhile, because deep down you truly believe in him and you know that abandonment isn’t a road to hope,” Five said.

Diego breathed in, and then he breathed out.

“And if he’s at this wedding, then you have him captive,” Five said. “And dressed up nicely for once.”

“The way he dresses is insane, side note,” Diego said. “It’s like— you know how bad taste is ugly, and then fashion is pretty, and then high fashion is ugly on purpose, and then couture is extravagantly pretty?”

Five laughed. Diego would move mountains for that laugh, he was realizing. “I suppose so.”

“He thinks he’s found another step on that hierarchy,” Diego said. “He thinks it’s brilliant to go back to ugly. But he just has bad taste.”

“Christ,” Five said. “You must lie awake at night coming up with insults for him.”

“Almost as often as I lie awake worrying about him,” Diego said.

He looked over. Five’s expression was sober, and his eyes were large and dark.

“It eats at you,” Five said.

“He’s around at this reception,” Diego said. “I know I’m gonna have to have the talk with him again tonight. I’m procrastinating til I do.”

“Nice to know that’s how you’re thinking of this conversation with me,” Five said.

“No, no,” Diego said. “Hey, whoa— I’d rather talk to you.”

Five smiled, small and pleased, and then he quickly schooled his face. “How touching. You’d rather kill time with me than initiate an intervention.”

“It’s not even an intervention anymore, man,” Diego said. “It’s… I don’t even have an analogy.”

“It’s fucked up,” Five said.

“You’re the one who thinks I should go and find him,” Diego said. “Don’t guilt me into helping him while also telling me how fucked up it is.”

“Did I say you should go find him?” Five said.

“You’re confusing as fuck,” Diego said.

“I’ve been told,” Five said. He warped over to a waiter and warped back in an instant with champagne. “And yet I can’t seem to care.”

Diego shook his head, smiling. “Hadn’t missed that.”

“The obliqueness?” Five said.

“No, you popping in and out of the frame every seven seconds just because you can,” Diego said.

Five grinned, boyish and smug. He warped behind Diego. “Like this?”

“Yeah,” Diego said, turning and finding the space empty. “Motherfucker.” He turned back, finding in front of him empty again. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

“Sorry,” Five said, reappearing unrepentantly.

“Maybe you actually are more annoying than an intervention,” Diego said.

“Have you ever tried letting Klaus have a longer leash?” Five said.

“What?” Diego said.

“Have you ever tried skipping the intervention?”

Diego hesitated.

“If it isn’t working,” Five said, “you might as well stop treating it like dogma.”

“You told me I shouldn’t give up on him,” Diego said.

“You shouldn’t,” Five said.

“Then I don’t get what you want me to do,” Diego said. “Either I go intervene, or I don’t. I stick with him, or I don’t.”

“What do you think would work better?” Five said.

Diego rubbed his face. “I don’t— fucking know.”

“Sorry,” Five said, softening. “I’m… not helping, I see.”

“You’re really not,” Diego said.

“If you’ve never let him go,” Five said, “you might try changing it up. One night’s just one night.”

“Tonight could be the night he kills himself,” Diego said.

“Diego,” Five said.

“Or overdoses,” Diego said.

 _“Diego,”_ Five said.

“You’re the one who started me off on this,” Diego said, turning to him. “What do you want me to do?”

Five looked at him for a moment, and then looked away.

“Don’t give me any more crypticisms,” Diego said.

“I think you’re in far less control than you think you are,” Five said.

Diego opened his mouth, but Five held out a hand. “So you might as well forget about him for one night and have a drink.”

Diego stilled. “I don’t drink,” he said. “Thought that was obvious.”

Five dropped his eyes to the glass in Diego’s hand.

Diego looked down. “I forgot I had that.”

Five laughed. “Why did you take it, then?”

“Because you were creeping me out and I needed something to do,” Diego said.

“Flattering,” Five said.

The bubbles in the champagne rose to the surface and disappeared, one by one.

“You could keep creeping me out for longer if you wanted,” Diego said, looking up at Five.

Five smiled. For all his casual charm, he looked surprisingly genuine. “I’d like that,” he said.

“The marriage fails,” Five said, taking a sip from his second glass.

“Called it,” Diego said. He looked out across the ballroom. The night was wearing on, and everything was starting to bend a little: girls abandoning their heels, guys getting a little more red-faced than they had been earlier. The wedding heaved with opulence. If Five seemed out of place, Diego felt even more so: every woman’s face looked too perfect and every man’s tuxedo looked invisibly like it cost a million dollars. Los Angeles was too big and too spread out. The whole thing felt like a simulation, a ritual ceremony, a stock photo; a constructed city, a susurrus of gossip, a never-ending litany of registry gifts and heavy invitations and place settings knocked askew when genteel waiters set down entrees on thick tablecloths. The crystal glasses glimmered like a migraine.

Five watched Allison across the room. “She’s a mess.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Diego said.

“Is Luther here?” Five said.

Diego shook his head.

“I assume he’s still hung up on her,” Five said.

“Not like he’s gonna get any other girls locked up with Dad,” Diego said.

“And I’d bet a hefty sum that she’s still hung up on him,” Five said.

“That’s not fair, you can’t bet when you’re the future,” Diego said. “You know how it all turns out.”

Five lifted his shoulders. “Quite the opposite. All I know of Allison is from— is from childhood.”

“And you’re judging her based on that?” Diego said, watching Allison’s smile. Christ, she was still gorgeous.

“Do you think she’s had any motivation to change since she was thirteen?”

Allison laughed at a joke, brushing her veil out of her face.

“Nah,” Diego said. “She was a holy terror up until she left.” He glanced at Five. “I had my bags packed to go when she came down and made her announcement that she was ditching the Academy. I didn’t get the idea of leaving from her.”

“But people think you did?” Five said.

“Just setting the record straight,” Diego said.

“Is she really that good of an actress, by the way?” Five said. “I can never tell.”

“You’ve seen her movies, right?” Diego said.

Five shrugged.

“Man,” Diego said. “Do they not have movies in the future?”

“I assume she rumored her way into all her roles,” Five said. “It would be hard to resist.”

“She hasn’t worked an honest day in her life,” Diego said.

“And marriage is work,” Five said. “She’s unprepared.”

Diego glanced at Five. “It is?”

“Marriage?” Five said, looking at him.

“Yeah." 

“Yes," Five said. 

“How do you know?” Diego said.

It struck him strangely for Five to be married. His mind conjured an image of a blurry wife and a vague house: a white picket fence. A normal life.

“I’ve studied people,” Five said.

Maybe not a normal life.

“Studied marriages?” Diego said.

“It came up,” Five said.

“What exactly do you do, man?” Diego said.

Five smiled. “Study people.”

“You gotta know how creepy that sounds,” Diego said.

“I’m observant,” Five said. “I don’t see any reason to apologize for that.”

“So you study married people,” Diego said.

“I study all people,” Five said.

“Not really better,” Diego said. “I’d advise against telling girls that on the first date.”

“I don’t date much,” Five said.

Diego looked him up and down. “You’re too hot to be a virgin.”

“I never said I was a virgin,” Five said.

Diego’s breath caught. Five was leaning against the wall, casual and confident, the posture of a man who knew he didn’t have to try hard at all. He looked like he’d been born in that suit— timelessly handsome, eternally elegant. The kind of man Eudora would have called a heartbreaker.

“But you don’t date much," Diego said, "and you're not married."

“Diego,” Five said. “Of all of them, I wouldn’t have expected you to be the prude.”

“I’m not a prude,” Diego said instinctively. 

Casual sex. Five stripping out of his suit with careless ease. Five rolling with someone onto a bed, gripping their shoulders, letting out pretty little sounds as a man pounded into him—

“Of course not,” Five said dryly.

Diego flipped him off.

“Noted,” Five said, a smile playing at his lips.

There was a silence. The room hummed around them, music pouring out from a string quartet, a complement to the thrum of small talk. Outside the windows, the sun was setting.

“So,” Diego said finally. “Hooking up. You know, a wedding’s a classic place to find a fling.”

Five made a noncommittal noise.

Diego looked down into his glass. If he were a better brother, he’d be offering to be Five’s wingman.

When he looked up, Five’s eyes had dropped to his mouth.

“More champagne?” Five said.

Diego was kissing Five’s neck in the coat closet, crushed up against the wall, surrounded by expensive wool and satin, pinning him against the plaster and pressing in close. Five was temptation incarnate, panting and whining under him, needy and pliant and wanton in a way that made Diego’s head spin—

“Fuck, your mouth,” he slurred against Five’s soft skin.

“Yeah,” Five said. “Christ, Diego…” He arched up, grinding his hard cock against Diego’s body. “Your body’s fuckin— art.”

“’S all yours,” Diego said. “Yeah, look at you, wanna get that pretty ass in my bed— I got a thing for twinks.” He kissed him again, ardent and messy. “Allison’s not gonna miss us.”

“Th’world’s gonna end,” Five said, humping up against Diego’s thigh. “One day it’s— I don’t even know why you’d get married when we’re all gonna die.”

“What?” Diego said, latching his mouth to Five’s jaw and sucking a hickey into his sensitive skin.

“I mean how far’s your hotel?” Five said, fisting his hands tight in Diego’s shirt.

Diego had barely closed the door before Five jumped onto him, teleporting them both to the bed and pinning him down to the mattress. He fumbled with the buttons on Diego’s jacket, and then huffed with annoyance, ripping the fabric down the seams and tossing it aside—

“Whoa, whoa,” Diego said, scooting back. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“What?” Five said.

“This tux is a rental,” Diego said. “How am I gonna get my deposit now?”

“You think this matters?” Five said. 

“Yes?” Diego said. “Obviously, man.”

“You’re wrong,” Five said.

Diego squinted. His mind was slow and soaked in alcohol— enough to tip him to the point of questioning. There was a fever to Five that hadn’t been there before.

“Nothing matters,” Five said. “In the grand scheme of things, you think it changes anything?”

“I need that money to pay my rent,” Diego said.

 _“Nothing matters,”_ Five said. He looked up at Diego, manic and bleak. “Don’t you understand? You can do whatever you want. Drive a fucking car through a fucking building. It’s all over one day. You think it’s endless but it’s not endless. You think you’re safe but you’re not safe. You think the future goes on forever— my God, imagine being able to believe that, it’s like, it’s like seeing a highway narrow to a point in the horizon, but I know that it’s not perspective, it actually ends there—”

He was cut off when Diego gripped his shoulders.

“I need that money to pay my rent,” he said softly.

Five sagged under him.

“Doesn’t matter what you saw in the future,” Diego said. “The little things still matter. Money. Food. Sex. Day-to-day.”

“’S not forever,” Five said.

“I’m not an optimist,” Diego said. “You think I could be, after what Dad did to us? But you lose the second you start drowning, man. You lose the whole game.”

“The game’s already lost,” Five said.

“I don’t know what you saw,” Diego said. “And I’m not going to ask. Because—”

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” Five said.

“Because if you think about the long game 24/7, you go insane,” Diego said.

Five barked a laugh.

“Five,” Diego said. “I gotta hold onto something. Even if it’s gonna go up in flames. I can’t give up now.”

Five stared up at him.

Diego swallowed. He was too tipsy for this. He suspected there were edges to this moment he couldn’t feel; shadows he couldn’t perceive— but all he could process right now were Five’s dark eyes. The feeling of their bodies together.

“I gave it away,” Five said. “The ending. Of everything. I told you what happens.”

“Pretty sure there’s a chance I’m not even gonna remember in the morning,” Diego said.

“I can’t stop remembering,” Five said. He looked down at where their bodies pressed against each other. “I know too much.”

“So find something to hold onto,” Diego said.

“Is that what you do?” Five said.

“Yeah,” Diego said.

“Does it work?” Five said.

Diego hesitated. “Yeah.”

“So what are you holding onto now?” Five said.

Diego cupped his face and kissed him.

“Christ, look at you,” Five said, straddling Diego’s naked body. He looked over him hungrily, like he wanted to buy him. Or eat him. “God, look at your fucking abs. Aren’t men only supposed to look like this in movies?”

Diego arched his back, showing off. “Life’s a movie, baby.”

“To a vigilante superhero, maybe,” Five said. He flicked Diego’s nipple ring. “Look at this. _Look_ at this. No man looks like you.”

“Are you complaining?” Diego said. “Are you negging me?”

“No,” Five said. His fingernails came down, raking over Diego’s abs. “I’m killing time before I fuck you.”

“Fuuuck,” Diego said, throwing his head back. “Aah, _Five—!”_

“Diego,” Five gasped, and his breath was coming out in short little pants, desperate and needy, hitched out with every thrust, and Diego braced himself with one hand on the bed, thrusting hard and fast—

“You are too good at that,” Diego said hazily.

The hotel bed was far too big for one person, but perfect for two. Diego’s body was strewn over it, sweaty and worn out, and Five lay on top of him, equally dazed.

“Nah,” Five murmured. “You are.”

“Been a while since I got fucked like that,” Diego said. “Plowed. Drilled into the mattress. Jackhammered by your perfect dick.”

“You usually top?” Five said, mouth moving against his skin.

“Yeah,” Diego said. He gestured down at his cock. “I mean, not to brag or anything, but I kinda… have the equipment for it.”

Five pinched his side.

“Hey,” Diego said.

“I mean, not to brag or anything,” Five said, mimicking him—

Diego swatted at him. “You can’t hold the shit I say in bed against me. I’m come-drunk.”

“I think you are actually drunk,” Five said.

“Takes one to know one,” Diego said.

“That’s fair,” Five said. “We’re both drunk enough to commit incest or whatever.”

Diego played with Five’s hair. “That part doesn’t bother me.”

“The incest?”

“Yeah,” Diego said. He scratched Five’s scalp, and Five purred. “I mean, Allison and Luther have been all about it since we were kids.”

Five rolled over, tucking himself catlike against Diego’s side. “I don’t know what’s normal.”

“Nothing about the way we grew up was normal,” Diego said.

“You had it better than some,” Five said. He laid his cheek against Diego’s pectoral. “You had each other.”

Diego was quiet for a moment.

“I know Klaus treats you badly,” Five said. “And I know Luther made the choice to stand with Dad at the Academy. And I know what Allison’s doing out here, and I know what Vanya did with the book.” He brought his hand up to touch Diego’s side. “But you can’t lose touch with them.”

“Why?” Diego said.

“Because it can get a lot worse,” Five said.

“How much?” Diego said. “It’s pretty bad.”

Five shook his head. “I can’t tell you.”

“But you can lecture me about not giving up hope on my siblings that have all given up hope on me?” Diego said.

Five quirked a smile. “It’s the prisoner’s dilemma, isn’t it?”

“What?” Diego said.

Five lifted himself up, propping his forearms on Diego’s chest. “The prisoner’s dilemma. You all lose the game if you act in your own self-interest.”

“What exactly do you want me to sacrifice for them?” Diego said.

“How bad would it be to have coffee with Vanya?” Five said. “Even once?”

“Do you know what she put in that book?” Diego said.

Five smiled a little, distant.

“She aired every piece of dirty laundry our family had,” Diego said. “She took every single secret and flipped them inside out so everyone only saw her point of view.”

“She was public about it,” Five said.

“Exactly,” Diego said. “Exactly. And it was a crime.”

“Don’t you think she had the right to share her story?” Five said.

Diego looked at him. “You don’t think she was in the right, do you?”

“I think it’s a lot more complicated than you think it is,” Five said.

“Did you read it?” Diego said.

“Many times,” Five said.

Diego closed his eyes.

Five’s fingers touched his chest. “She was unfair to you.”

Diego opened his eyes, looking at him.

Five’s face was serious and earnest. His eyes were big, looking up at Diego. “I don’t discount that.”

“So then why are you telling me to get coffee with her?” Diego said.

“Because you need your family,” Five said.

Diego drew back.

“It’s not just about you and her,” Five said. His face looked so weathered. “You need all of them. The _world_ needs all of you.”

“If the world needed all of us, then we’d still be together,” Diego said. “Inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy. Turns out in real life, the world doesn’t need saving.”

Five pressed his face against Diego’s chest.

“Hey,” Diego said. “Talk to me.”

Five shook his head.

“Am I missing something?” Diego said. “What’s going on?”

“Christ,” Five mumbled. “Just— don’t even try. Maybe you’ll never get it. Maybe they’re right.”

“What?” Diego said.

 _“Que sera sera,”_ Five said.

“Five,” Diego said. “What are you talking about?”

“I keep telling myself it matters,” Five said, muffled. “That any of this matters. I’m the only one fighting anymore. I’m still the only one left. The rest of them don’t care. None of you care.”

Diego stroked his hair.

“We’re screwed,” Five said.

“Tell me what happens,” Diego said quietly. He settled his hand on Five’s back. “You can talk to me. I can handle it.”

Five laughed.

“Come on,” Diego said, uneasy. His mind was moving too slowly for this. The sex, he could keep up with. But— “Look, you’re the one who told me to reach out to everyone, okay? You’re the one who said I should make an effort. So I’m making an effort. I’m asking. What the hell is going on?”

Five looked at him, eyes bleak.

The crack between the curtains spilled sunlight into the room.

Diego rolled over in bed, letting out a wordless groan as the sunlight hit his eyes. His head was throbbing. When was the last time he’d been this hungover?

He was naked, he realized, and he looked over beside him with dawning foreboding.

Nothing.

Diego closed his eyes. The memory of Five swam into his mind like purple blotches after staring into bright light. He was pretty sure that Five had sucked hickeys onto every single part of his body— or had he done that to Five? Someone had pinned somebody against a wall, and somebody was paying for it. His lower back was sore. His mouth felt used. He’d take stock of his bruises in the shower.

If he stood up and went to the window, he’d see the same Los Angeles hotel view: a couple palm trees against a flat sky, telephone wires cutting across clouds, buildings sitting along the horizon. If he rifled through his suitcase, he’d find his boarding pass. He had a flight for noon today. His head pounded. If he closed his eyes, maybe he could sink into twenty more minutes of hazy sleep.

Diego looked over at the bedside table.

Next to the clock, there sat a stack of crisp twenty-dollar bills. The pen lay uncapped on the table beside a torn-off note on hotel stationery.

Diego rolled over and picked it up.

_For your suit_  
_– 5_

**Author's Note:**

> [electra-xt](https://electra-xt.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, taking prompts, come talk to me about TUA!


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